Relax pro-abortion protestors, your uteruses are safe

Abortion rights demonstrators rally, Saturday, May 14, 2022, on the National Mall in Washington. Abortophiles are rallying from coast to coast in the face of an anticipated Supreme Court decision that could overturn women’s right to an abortion. (AP Photo/Amanda Andrade-Rhoades)

By Bryce Maxim
XTRA 106.3FM, ATLANTA – Across the nation women are protesting the Supreme Court’s future overturning of Roe vs. Wade. They mistakenly believe the elimination of this federal “one size fits all” abortion law would result in total elimination of abortion everywhere in America.

That’s not going to happen. At the very least, it will remain an option for women to save their lives if a pregnancy goes wrong and for victims of rape or incest. I cannot imagine a single state that would not make provisions for abortions under these circumstances in future legislation. That would not be rational or merciful. It would be evil.

Truth be told, numerous states have already written access to abortion into their state law. They guarantee that there will ALWAYS be a place in the US where a woman can get an abortion if she chooses. It may be less convenient, but it will still be available.

So relax abortophiles, pour yourselves a glass of wine, quit burning your bras, and take off your dreadfully cliché “Handmaid’s Tale” costumes. Your uterus is safe. You will still have the ability to get your precious abortions and the freedom to choose what you do with your body.

After all, abortion is a woman’s choice and it’s a serious one. There’s no question about that and I agree with the protestors in that regard.

But what about the series of important choices women make that lead to the unwanted pregnancy in the first place? Those should be examined as well.

It starts with the fact that every woman can choose to keep her clothes on. After all, nobody ever got pregnant through a pair of Levi’s. But once a woman makes the choice to remove her clothing, that concept of contraception disappears.

The woman’s next choice concerns the numerous birth control options available to her in 2022. Birth control pills, long term contraceptives like Norplant, IUDs, and condoms are all easily obtained, inexpensive, and do a good job of keeping female bodies fetus-free! Just choose the one that works best for you, follow the enclosed instructions, and get your freak on.

Unless THAT choice is not made.

So moving on, the next option women could choose to prevent an unwanted pregnancy is taking the “morning after pill”. Just pop one to prevent a full term pregnancy even if fertilization occurs. No harm no foul. World keeps turning and pregnancy terminated.

However, when a woman doesn’t choose the morning after pill, she moves on to the choice about whether or not to get an abortion.

But how much time does the average woman need to make that decision? 4 weeks? 8 weeks? 15 weeks? More than that? Surely the average woman can choose to terminate her pregnancy within a 4 month-long time frame when the fetus is not viable outside the womb. No?

By my count, that’s six opportunities for women to exercise some form of their right to choose through birth control or early-term abortion. So what’s left?

Choice #7: “Late term abortion”.

This is what the protestors are really fighting for. They want the ability to terminate a pregnancy up to the point of the child’s birth.

What a pathetic abdication of responsibility! After passing on the choices of celibacy, contraception and an early trimester abortion, these women are most passionate to defend the choice that enables them to destroy a child on the cusp of birth!

Make no mistake, these protests are not about a woman’s right to choose, nor are they about their opposition to “government taking control of women’s bodies”.

They’re a nationwide temper tantrum thrown by selfish women who resent the idea that a state can set restrictions or time limits on irresponsible behavior that resulting in the needless death of a child.

Note: This article was not written by a fascist, privileged white man. Bryce Maxim is a poly-pantransmorphic plastisexual who identified as a Cuban, female, taxi driver from Bangor, Maine while composing this article.